February 21, 2009

Skunks 1
Humans 0

 For the second time in less than a month, I need to talk about skunks. But this time, it’s not the dead one in the middle of the road. It’s the live ones under the house. And from the sounds of them, it seems like they’re really going to town, setting up shop. It sounds like they’re trying to eat their way into the heating ducts, from what I can gather.

 They must be smart animals. They’ve already figured out how to use the cat door, and that the two “guard cats” really aren’t that good at guarding anything. They’ve figured out where we store the dry cat food, and where our recycle bin closet is. They’re probably plotting right now how to open one of the refrigerators and help themselves to my beer. After all, it’s on the bottom shelf, right at ground level.

 So, after much discussion, we decided that it’s time for the skunks to move out and get a place of their own.

 Not finding a listing in the phone book for “skunk department,” I decided to call the health department to see if they had any live animal traps or stuff like that. They of course referred me to the sheriff’s dept., who of course referred me to “Varmint Control.” I left a message with Varmint Control, and I hope they call back. Somewhere in between all of those departments, I called a local vet, who said that they do have a “garage full of live traps,” but at the moment, they were all “gone” or “loaned out.” There was no estimated time of return.

 My next plan of attack was to find and purchase my own trap. This was surprisingly easy, and my first call to Little Bit Ranch had what I needed. In fact, they had a whole section of their store devoted to capturing various critters. I didn’t have a lot of time to investigate all of them, so I grabbed one of the smaller metal cage live animal traps, and I was on my way.

 So I get this trap home, and take it out of the box. The instruction sheet is inside the trap. And the trap is closed. And of course, from what I can read on the instructions (not for my trap model, of course) the trap consists of: Springs, Levers, Resistance Pulleys, Release Levers, Spring Release Catches, Door Spring Hinges, Long and Short Armature Release Levers, Step Triggers, Door Spring Safety Latches, and Door Hinge Release Safety Spring Locks.

 Sheesh. I get a beer.

 OK, I’ve figured out how to set the trap. The animal is supposed to step on this metal plate, which makes the trap door shut, which can’t be opened from the inside. Perfect. I make a nice blackberry jelly sandwich for the critters, and put the contraption outside, under the corner of the crawlspace. I expect we’ll have a critter to transport in the morning, no problem.

 It’s morning! We didn’t hear anything overnight, so we’re not sure if we got anything. We’ll go get a blanket to cover the trap, just in case. Is it going to spray us? I hope not. Maybe if we don’t scare it, it will be ok.

 So I go outside and slowly approach the trap site. It’s a tense moment. Maybe I should go get some safety gear. Or at least a long stick. I finally reach the trap site.

 It’s gone. The trap is not where I originally set it. This means that I’m going to have to get down on my hands and knees and actually look under the crawl space. I cautiously peer under the house. My eyes adjust to the dim light.

 So there it is. My trap has been moved about 4 feet from where I put it. The blackberry jelly sandwich – Gone. The trap door – Closed. The skunk? Nowhere to be seen.

 Maybe I should forget the trap, and just let them have the beer.