December 2, 2008

Remind me not to rent that again.

 It’s the test of any relationship. The ups and downs. The endless waiting. The struggle to get through it. The search for meaning after it’s over, and the decisions that could affect you far into your “rental” future.

 “Rental” future?

 Oh, of course I’m talking about the Netflix account. Well, it’s really “our” account. We split it 50/50. Well, that’s what’s supposed to happen. I just shutter with fear when I think what a family of 4 must go through to get movies on the rental queue. Each family member must have to sit through 2.75 movies before he or she gets to see one that they actually ordered. And that’s on a good week. I guess I have it pretty easy.

 Some people seem to rent movies on the “You will like this movie because you have already rented this movie” approach. And since the Netflix website is for people who take the time to rate the movies they saw, that approach could be meaningful. But we really don’t have time to do that.

 I’m not sure how I decide on movies, but I think it involves:

 1) Rating - I’m generally leery of anything PG-13 and under.

  2) Movie Title – If I have the choice between “History of Delta Blues and Rare Archival Field Recordings Vol. 3 (1928-31)” and “The Return of Garfield’s Holiday Christmas Parade,” I would definitely choose the former.

 3) Personal Knowledge Base – This can mean several things. If I have never heard of the movie, I am less inclined to add a movie to the queue. If the movie is about a topic that I have at least heard of or know something about, there’s more a chance I’ll watch it.

 So that means the only way to get me to watch a movie that I don’t know about is to have someone else rent it and make me watch it. Hmmm.

 4) Length of movie – With 2 or 3 movies hanging around the house, I seem to choosing which one to watch based on time. The 1.5 hour or less usually gets priority over the 3 DVD boxed set with added bonus endings and extra stagehand interviews.

 So, in an obvious lapse of using my own movie selection guide, I thought it would be fun to put the latest/greatest Pixar cartoon on the queue. After a great turkey feast blow-out last week, we headed home early and popped in “Wall-e” for a spin through the ol’-still-analog-non-HD-non-Flat panel-non-dolby-un-surround-sound-god-knows-what-resolution-Feb. 17, 2009 non-compliant-TV TV.

 After 45 minutes we had both fallen asleep. I’m not sure if the Earth was saved, or if the machines lived happily ever after. But that’s ok. I’m sure the next one is in the mail.