|
By ESTHER K. SMITH
News staff writer
January 31, 2007
As any parent can tell you, no matter
how many books and magazine articles you read before you become a
parent, you will still occasionally feel ill-equipped for the job once
your child begins his or her journey toward independence.
Parents and child care providers of children ages 2-9 will soon have
an opportunity to learn the most effective ways to get children to
cooperate without having to yell, nag or beg them: “Make Parenting a
Pleasure,” a 10-week series beginning Feb. 13, offered by Hood River
County’s Parenting Education Program.
Nancy Johanson Paul, who will act as facilitator for the sessions,
said that the sessions are not so much classes as “parenting education
opportunities,” where parents (or child care providers) meet others
who are going through the same things with their children.
Wende Fisk, one of the parents who took part in a similar series, “Hot
Topics for Parents of Toddlers and Preschoolers,” last fall, said that
talking with the other parents was one of the biggest helps she and
her husband, Steve, found at the sessions.
Also at the library, Jennifer Thomas and
her daughter, Emily, 5, illustrate another prevention tool for
parents: reducing boredom by involving the child in
an interesting activity.
“One mom was talking about something
that had happened with her child and we were all saying, ‘Yeah, we’ve
all been there,’” she said. “It really validates a lot of the things
you’re feeling to know there are other parents who feel that way.
“The tools that we learned — communication strategies, problem solving
and discipline techniques — are helpful even in daily situations,”
Wende said. “And then during discussions, parents would throw things
out there that had worked for them, and I tried a few of those at home
and they worked pretty well.”
Johanson Paul said that there has been a shift in attitudes about
discipline. Many people start out with the skills they learned from
their own upbringing, which may or may not have been positive.
“Our parents did not have the benefit of the parenting ideas and
positive approach that is available to parents today,” she said. “I
yelled too much as a parent. I wish I had had the parenting tools that
are available today — my kids are now 18 and 22 years old.”
Library patrons Alice Carron and her
son, A.J., 4, illustrate one of the prevention tools taught in the
upcoming “Make Parenting a Pleasure” series: communication — at
the child’s eye level
The sessions also stress the difference
between punishment and discipline:
“Punishment is external control while discipline teaches internal
control and responsibility for one’s behavior,” Johanson Paul said.
“Punishment promotes sneakiness and a lack of taking responsibility
for one’s actions, while positive discipline promotes making good,
responsible choices.
“As a child gets older, external control is less effective since the
parent is often not present to exert control over the child.” she
said.
But she said the parent does need to exercise authority and guidance,
and it needs to come first — before friendship.
“I see parents struggling with being a friend versus being the
parent,” she said. “You really have to be in charge.”
The course outlines successful tools for preventing problems and
teaching discipline, and cases and ages when they are appropriate.
Vitalina Rodriguez
Facilitator, Spanish version
“Time out should not be used as the only
discipline tool,” Johanson Paul said. “It’s really for the big things
— biting, kicking; physical things — that are hurting other kids. Many
other parenting tools work just as well, such as natural or logical
consequences, distraction, ignoring, rewards, etc.”
The sessions also teach the basics of child development — where
children are physically, socially, behaviorally, and in language,
moral and cognitive development at different ages.
“A lot of child abuse happens because of unrealistic expectations for
the child’s age,” Johanson Paul said. “It’s such a key for people to
understand child development.”
If parents attend together, they may find common ground in their
parenting technique. One parent commented after taking the classes, “I
recommend this class to all parents. I learned a huge variety of tools
to use in parenting situations that apply to all ages of children. It
also helped my husband and I learn to parent more effectively
TOGETHER.”
Nancy Johanson Paul
Facilitator, English version
In addition to the “Make Parenting a
Pleasure” series, there will be a series in March for parents of
children 10-18 years old: “Parents Who Care.” “Parents Who Care,” and
another series, “The Incredible Years,” will also be offered in
Spanish.
The sessions are made possible through the “Enhancing the Skills of
Parents II” grant from the Ford Family Foundation, with additional
support by the Hood River County Commission on Children and Families.
Hood River County’s Parenting Education Program is run by New Parent
Services, a program of The Next Door, Inc.
“Parenting education group sessions are for any parent who wants to
learn new ideas, become a better parent and make parenting easier and
less stressful,” Johanson Paul said.
Nancy Johanson Paul is Family Resource Worker and Parent Education
Coordinator for New Parent Services. For more information on any of
these classes call her at (541) 308-2236. |
