I can’t go into Portland without buying a Used CD. I’ve been buying so many Used CDs for so long; I believe that process is now encoded in my DNA. Last weekend I stood in front of the “Bargain Used CD Section,” all priced from 1-3 dollars, and salvaged three Lyle Lovetts, two John Hiatts, two Cowboy Junkies, a Desert Rose Band disc, a comedy CD featuring Mel Blanc and Carl Reiner, an REM disc; all for a buck each.
And that was just from one area of the store. I splurged and went over to the “Regular Used CD Section” and pulled another 3 or 4 discs out.
$27 – Priceless.
So I stumble out of the store, and, trying to “Be Green,” I opt for NOT taking a plastic bag. Now, granted, all of my cloth bags AND my backpack, are still in the car. For some reason, I didn’t bring any of that with me. But that’s OK, I mean it’s a nice day, I’ll just walk back the car, stow away my CDs, and then hike back and go buy a ticket for the Bridgetown Comedy Festival.
So I start hiking back. There’s plenty of time, I’m hours early. You know, the older you get, the more you start realizing that it’s OK to write things down. You see, when I parked the car, I noticed where I parked. It was 35th and Harrison.
So I wrote it down. On paper. With a pen. I put the paper in my coat pocket.
So I’m hiking back, from the CD store on Hawthorne, which is only a few blocks away. And I’m walking, walking, walking.
And I finally get there. 35th and Harrison.
And, not only is my car not there, but there aren’t ANY cars there. I mean, when I parked, I had to spend 10 minutes trying to put my car between two vehicles because the whole street was jammed up.
I look at the street signs again. It says “35th and Harrison.” I look at my notes. It says “35th and Harrison.”
You know that queasy feeling you get when you look and your car’s not there?
Yeah, that one. That’s what I had.
So I’m standing there, on the sidewalk, with $27 worth of used CDs that aren’t in a shopping bag. In desperation, I head east a few blocks.
And there it is. My car. I look at the street sign. “35th.” And “Harrison.” But, now that I look closer, there’s something underneath “Harrison.”
I can’t believe it. There’s a difference between 35th and 35th Place.
As I was unlocking the door to my car, I was thinking I probably should have stayed home and watched an “Office” re-run.
At least I would’ve known where my car was.
Bridgetown Comedy Festival
8 p.m. April 24, 2010
“Theme Park” improv show featuring
Oscar Nunez (“Oscar on the hit TV show The Office),
Scott Adsit (30 Rock),
Janet Varney (How I Met Your Mother),
Danny Pudi (NBC’s Community),
Jessica Makinson (iCarly, Southpark) and
Cole Stratton (Animal Planet, various TV commercials).
Opening set by the Brody Theater Improv Group:
Whale watching in a pond
Relationship advice from an old lighthouse keeper
Little Kids Squashing Bugs
Normal children with undead Zombie Parents
A dysfunctional Support Group
An even more dysfunctional Undercover Cop team reprimanded for not focusing on their job
Visiting the Ant Queen
Being Embarrassed in front of your friends because of your Mom
Zombie Tribal Sweat Lodge
Tell it to the Judge