The Porch for Aug. 8

OAK Street markdown … for good reason.

Photo by Kirby Neumann-Rea
OAK Street markdown … for good reason.

WELL SAID: “Where I am not understood, it shall be concluded that something very useful and profound is couched underneath.” — Jonathan Swift

SEEN AND HEARD: Gravensteins for sale … ripe pears on trees, growers looking for pickers … twin brothers waving and shouting “tomatoes, $3 a bag” at their stand on Country Club Road near Belmont … three German-speaking men in downtown Hood River, walking past an ale-oriented establishment, and one says “gutes bier hier.” Good beer here, it is true. One of the men nods in agreement; he is wearing a red “Budweiser” shirt. (Perhaps he would be interested in the shirt in the photo…)

PUTTING THE GRRR in garage sale: Witness the creeping return of illegal yard sale signs, despite efforts by city enforcement officer Marty Morgan to clamp down. (It is illegal in the city to attach any sign to a utility pole or public sign post.)

Recent violations included two advertising the same address: firmly taped to the corner of the County Building at 6th and State and on a yellow arrow directional sign on Cascade. Plenty of scofflaws use electrical poles and stop sign poles, but the one on Cascade was probably the first to use an actual street sign, which are there for public safety, not for the sake of selling off old tools and baby clothes.

BUMPER STICKER (real): “Need a toe?”

BUMPER STICKER (idea) based on typical driving behavior around here: “Not being towed — just following this guy REAL close”

UR-GENT POSTAGE: Man walks into Hood River Post Office, holding a black cylinder — a bear container, which are required back-country gear for deterring hungry ursines from raiding food or anything with a scent. Not something you see every day downtown. Asked if he planned to mail it, the man said, “Yes, I borrowed it from a friend. I don’t need it in Hood River,” he said. Asked if he was putting anything in it, he said, “No, I should have thought of that. Guess I’ll mail it empty.” (A bit of research on bear containers: never put them near a hillside or body of water.)

— Kirby Neumann-Rea

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