As of Friday, February 26, 2016
Hood River humor writer Vikki Claflin looked in the mirror one morning and saw a woman with her face, but a totally different body than she remembered from the day before. Hers was still young, reasonably fit, and smooth. The one in the mirror was, well … not. That “OMG” moment launched Claflin’s hlarious new book, “Who Left the Cork Out of My Lunch? Middle Age, Modern Marriage & Other Complications,” where she doles out irreverent advice on making marriage work and shares her most embarrassing personal anecdotes about being middle-aged in a youth-oriented society.
You can join her Big Girl Panties Society, but Rule No. 6 is: “You must be a grandma, be pushing your offspring to make you a grandma, or at least have a grandma in your immediate peer group. And if your boobs haven’t yet fallen off their perch and migrated to your waistline, you have an unfair advantage in our coveted, annual Best Boob-Belt award.”
Advice to men includes: “Never ask ‘Is that what you’re wearing?’ It’s guaranteed to make you late for wherever you’re going, because she’s going up to change her clothes. Nine times.”
“There are over 80 million women in the U.S. over the age of 40,” said Claflin. “And that number will continue to climb until 2030. They’re looking for books they can relate to. Aging in a society that worships youth is hard. Wisdom and serenity are great, but we miss our perky breasts and cellulite-free thighs. I want to help women find the funny in this inevitable process. If you’re looking for the humor, it’s there. I mean, chin hairs and back fat? Seriously? We need to know that we aren’t ‘old.’ We aren’t invisible. We’re fabulous.”
Over the next several months, Claflin is scheduling speaking engagements and book readings around the Pacific Northwest.
Claflin believes that laughter, a good glass of wine, and an econo-sized box of Milk Duds are the path to true Zen. But ultimately, she said, she would like to “be less judgmental about myself. Be kinder, less critical to me. I’m learning that with most things in life, it’s okay to fail. It’s not okay to quit trying.”
“Who Left the Cork Out of My Lunch?” was released Feb. 14 and is available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and iTunes.
Vikki Claflin writes the award-winning blog, Laugh Lines, where she doles out irreverent advice on marriage, offers humorous how-to lists galore, and shares her most embarrassing midlife moments.
Find more of Vikki’s writing at laugh-lines.net.