The Porch, April 14 edition

“SO MEET a bear and take him out to lunch with you.” — Lyle Lovett

Photo by Kirby Neumann-Rea
“SO MEET a bear and take him out to lunch with you.” — Lyle Lovett

WELL SAID: “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” – William James

WELL DONE: “Three Little Monkeys — New Route on The Black Spider.” Alpinists Michael Getlin and Walter Burkhardt so-named a new summit route on Mount Hood, accomplished March 31.

There’s a techni-mysterious poetic quality to what Getlin wrote about their decision to do the climb: “… there was some unclimbed potential on the left side of the Spider. A quick scouting mission showed a beautiful and long ice line between the existing Fric-Amos route and the Elder-Russel summer line. A fat long ice line it was not, but it seemed to have smears in all the right places so we gave it a go.” See for the full account.

Here’s just another piece of that poetry:

“A few vertical mixed moves brought me to the hanging, detached ice dagger which proved fragile and delaminated. It was a type of fragile water ice climbing that I have never seen on Mount Hood. It was strikingly similar to the first pitch of “Mean Streak” in Cody (we bailed).” For those keeping score, he added: WI4+ (Not Mount Hood grading).



ON THE MAP, BUT OFF LIMITS: National Geographic’s online edition for April directs people to all kinds of lovely and exotic world locales, including the Gorge, for “spring time getaways.”

Writer Caitlin Etherton reports: “At the end of the day, all spring travel has one goal in common: soaking up some sun after a long, dark winter. This list provides an abundance of venues for the occasion — sailboats in Sri Lanka, Norwegian icebergs, Colombian flower towns, powder blue Moroccan terraces. Pack your sea legs and your sunglasses.” Things start with the Columbia and Snake River. Cruising between Oregon, Idaho, and Washington along the Snake and Columbia Rivers provides access to the country’s deepest gorge and the continent’s greatest concentration of waterfalls — best visited in spring when winter melt ensures a thunderous show. Yakama, Umatilla, Warm Spring, and Nez Perce tribes have lived along these rivers for centuries and are known for their intricate basket weaving and dip-net salmon fishing. Trace Lewis and Clark’s footsteps at Fort Clatsop, sample the biodynamic wines at Syncline Winery, or visit the Western Antique Aeroplane & Automobile Museum on the second Saturday of the month, when volunteers can take antique cars and planes out for a spin. Go with Nat Geo: Encounter the stunning landscapes.”

Waterfall alley along Historic Highway 30 is largely visible from Interstate 84 and the grand-daddy, Multnomah Falls, is open along with the lodge, but what National Geographic does not mention is that most of Highway 30 fronting the waterfalls remains closed following last fall’s Eagle Creek fire, with no word yet on re-opening. We offer a photo of Oneonta Gorge (closed) so you get a sense of the wonder.

SEEN AND HEARD: homeowner using ugly Christmas wrapping to wrap photos and valuables for a move … “FREE” stuff on sidewalk outside downtown gear shop … call it ‘ursine and heard’: the recent sign at Doppio (below) … temporary painted arrows at Rosauers parking lot showing traffic redirection during the parking lot repaving (south half) … man finding six-pack in returned shopping cart, turns it into service desk … the little piano in the downtown wall has disappeared and returned a few times of late, and recently it was found wedged into place and could not be moved … From George Earley comes this gem: “The Sage drinks not of the vintner’s or brewer’s products so he’s tossing this question out to those who do: Is Bud Wiser than other beers or is that just advertising hype?” Cheers from The Sage of Mount Hood.

— Kirby Neumann-Rea

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