The Porch, Dec. 1 edition

Mid-Columbia 10th grader Jennifer Alvarez feeds the visiting chicken, who also likes to hunker down under cars.

LisaAnn Kawachi
Mid-Columbia 10th grader Jennifer Alvarez feeds the visiting chicken, who also likes to hunker down under cars.


A friendly chicken likes to hunker down under cars — causing at least one backup at Mid-Columbia Adventist School.

Now we know why the chicken crossed the road: To get to the free popcorn.

At Mid-Columbia Adventist School this week, a friendly chicken from somewhere in the neighborhood has made herself at home in the parking lot of the 22nd Street school, getting between and underneath cars (causing at least one backup as drivers proceeded with caution) and coming around when proffered snacks, including free popcorn.

WELL SAID: “In November, the smell of food is different. It’s an orange smell. A squash and pumpkin smell. It tastes like cinnamon and can fill up a house in the morning, can pull everyone from bed in a fog. Food is better in November than any other time of the year.” — Written last week on the ever-interesting chalk board at the northeast corner of the dining room at The Mesquitery.

WELL DONE: “Bowl With A Cop” (or firefighter), the annual event on Monday brought athletes and first responders together. It was a convivial setting where, when it comes to “rattling the sticks,” the Special Olympics athletes got to show their talents and the men and women in law enforcement and fire service got to share a few bowling tips or, in some cases, show their humility.

SEEN AND HEARD: A Volkswagen bus with Christmas lights lining the interior and a red-ribboned wreath on the front bumper … a motorcyclist, boots and wheels covered with mud, tries and tries to get his bike to stand upright on a sloped parking space downtown … an elementary girl who had accidentally stapled her finger, asked by a boy, “Is it still in there?” … a forlorn “thank you firefighters” sign hanging sideways in a downtown shop window ... a bicyclist at dusk on 13th Street on the Heights surprising pedestrians by stopping to let them cross … a man tossing a granola bar 30 yards across the parking lot to a friend …. thick layers of leaves turning to mulch in gutters in downtown Hood River … HRVHS athletes cleaning them up …


Cleaned-up boxwood in front of the Hood River Post Office.

AN EX-X: What happens when a “SCHOOL XING,” sign painted on a street sees the “X” obliterated by tires, as is the case in at least one location? Answer: “ SCHOOL ING”

STAMPS AND STUMPS: Months back, we asked in The Porch why the Hood River Post Office didn’t take care of dying boxwood shrubs in front of the downtown main entrance. Recently, the dead portions were finally cut away, but down to foot-long spikes that could have impaled anyone if they happened to step too close, or, God forbid, fall on them. We can happily report that the sharp stumps have since been cut away.

In time, perhaps the rest of the plants will be retired. Sometimes you have to think outside the boxwood.

— Kirby Neumann-Rea

Take a seat on The Porch; feedback is welcome, along with contributions of those offbeat and under-noticed elements of life around here. You’ll know them when you see them:

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